1. The Plaid Shirt: I am not sure how I feel about this fashion trend. Some people pull it off effortlessly others just look like they woke up, picked up a plaid shirt and thought hmmm I know I don't have a blue ox but if Paul Bunyan could pull off plaid so can I. Now all I need Folgers in my cup!
2. The “cooler” baseball jacket. I am not sure that baseball jackets can ever be cool on people who don’t actually play baseball but gentlemen it's your image. How will you know if you have truly picked a "cooler" baseball jacket? If your jacket is streamlined so as not to add extra drag on windy days and made of in a super thin fabric. the look is suppose to look like it barely skims the frame. I hope you know what all this fashion mumbo jumbo means, because don’t ask me to explain it to. I think guys look hot in a good pair of jeans and a t-shirt, but I digress.
3. White Jeans: break free of your Memorial Day delusions! The only rule to white jeans according to GQ is straight leg cut only. The true rule to white pants, NEVER EVER where them! I feel like I am watching someone openly display their support for the 70's and John Travolta when I see men in white jeans. I don't care how cool you think you look putting white jeans on when your not a) John Travolta and b) living and dancing in the 70's your just not going to be able to pull off this fashion. This fashion IS NOT going to help you pick up girls. White jeans look ridiculous and keeping those puppies clean is going to cost you an arm and leg at the dry cleaners. (picture #2 is demonstrating the horrifying fashion known as white jeans)
4.The Grown-man’s sweatshirt: What is a Grown-man's sweatshirt you ask? It is simply a fitted crew-neck aka a sweatshirt without a hood. The trick to rocking your Grown-man sweater is to pair it with collared shirt underneath. Keep the sweater in the neutral colors of grey, white, black, red, ect.
5. Denim Shirt: I looked at many variations of this look and it just looked weird. I am not sure I would approach a guy wearing one without asking him where the round-up was. Anyway they gave guys some suggestions for rocking this style. Wear it under a suit (which would look really weird) under a cardigan (so you can look like a mixture of a Marlboro cowboy and Mr. Rogers) or with a tie. It’s going to take a lot more than a tie to make this look actually work. If a highly paid male model couldn’t pull it off 99% of the male population who tries this look is NOT going to be able to pull it off.
6. A Fitted Cotton Sport’s Jacket. There wasn’t any special instructions with this look I guess they assume you know how to wear a sports jacket. My advice…get one that’s NOT made out of cotton it’s a pain in the butt to iron it every time you want to wear it.
7. Upturned Cuffs on your jeans are back in. You just fold your jeans right up to the top of your shoes. This looks so funny. You can now wear your pants as though you need to cross a stream but actually be on dry land. Better yet your water crossing pants can now pass as a fashion statement. I am just not sure how anyone would rock this. I mean I feel like I should walk up to you and tell you that when you tied your shoes this morning you forgot to roll down your pants. I feel like it would be supremely awkward to have a conversation with someone when their pants were rolled up. The whole time I would be wondering if they knew their pants were rolled up and whether or not I should tell you. Thus resulting in a very stilted conversation with lots of pauses and confusion.
8. Grey Sneakers. I am not sure what the point of having shoes that look like converse shoes but are grey is. The site told me it was a more wearable look. Like you could wear those to work because even though they look like converse shoes they’re actually grey so they’re not. WHAT?! No, you still look like your wearing sneakers to work…the real question is why you couldn’t find some cooler ones because seriously grey just says BORING! And in case you were wondering how much your drab shoes would cost you a very reasonable $338.
9. Bolder V-neck colors. Get out of your drab copy-cating of Simon Cowell and into a bright colored V-neck in fuchsia, or aqua. I am not sure but both of those colors are found in a women’s section as well so I am not sure I would go with those if straight is the image your wanting to project. Anyway pair your new bold V-neck with a polo shirt in a complementary color or go basic with white and black. I am not sure how I feel about this look. It screams high maintenance and I feel like with two shirts on it would make you hot (like body temperature hot) and thus you would sweat more. And the more you sweat the less hot (as in good looking) you’re going to look.
10. Last but not least the Storm Jacket. What is a storm jacket you ask? Why a jacket you could wear in a storm. Duh! But that's not all this jacket has oh no it has enough inside pockets to keep a three day supply of food,a first aid kit, and a onetime use inflatable raft for when your “storm” turns into a flash food situation. No but really what is a storm jacket? I really have no idea it looks like a regular jacket to me.
Well that concludes today's post. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed commentating on it. I was going to hand draw each picture but I wanted you to be able to tell what it was. Perhaps I will do woman's fashion next. Because as ridiculous as these "fashions" are, women by far take the cake in the category of "What are You Wearing."
